


Are You My Mission?

by TwunkBucky (DeathlyHallows)



Category: Are You My Mother?, Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Children's Literature, Crack, Crossover, I'm not sure how to even tag this, M/M, references to 616, references to Fraction's Hawkeye, references to x-men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 17:43:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4488765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathlyHallows/pseuds/TwunkBucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remember the book "Are You My Mother?" from when you were a kid? Yeah, it's that. Very nearly a line-by-line rewrite, in fact.</p><p>I apologize for nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are You My Mission?

**Author's Note:**

> Technically follows the canon of MCU, but contains references to 616. This is a monstrosity, and I can offer no explanation for it. Also, completely un-proofread.  
> Enjoy.

A kindly Steve took his Buck on a train.  
His Bucky fell.  
"Oh no!" cried the kindly Steve. "I've lost my Buck!"  
"I must get revenge on HYDRA." he said. "I won't be back."  
So away he went.  
The Buck cried. He cried and cried and cried.  
Out came the Winter Soldier!  
"Where is my mission?" he said.  
He looked for him.  
He looked up. He did not see him.  
He looked down. He did not see him.  
"I will go and look for him," he said.  
So away he went.  
Down, out of the helicarrier he went.  
Down, down, down! It was a long way down.  
The Winter Soldier could not fly.  
He could not fly, but he could swim. "Now I will go and find my mission," he said.  
He did not know what his mission looked like. He went right by him. He did not see him.  
He came to a Shadowcat. "Are you my mission?" he said to the Shadowcat.  
"This is the wrong franchise," said the Shadowcat.  
The Shadowcat was not his mission, so he went on.  
Then he came to a Hawkeye.  
"Are you my mission?" he said to the Hawkeye.  
"Awww, Bucky, no," said the Hawkeye.  
The Shadowcat was not his mission.  
The Hawkeye was not his mission.  
So the Winter Soldier went on.  
"I have to find my mission!" he said. "But where? Where is he? Where could he be?"  
Then he came to a Wolverine.  
"Are you my mission?" he said to the Wolverine.  
"You guys don't have the rights to our story arcs," said the Wolverine.  
The Shadowcat was not his mission.  
The Hawkeye was not his mission.  
The Wolverine was not his mission.  
So the Winter Soldier went on.  
Now he came to a cow.  
Cows can't be missions.  
The Shadowcat and the Hawkeye were not his mission.  
The Wolverine and the cow were not his mission.  
Did he have a mission?  
"I did have a mission," said the baby bird. "I know I did. I have to find him. I will. I WILL!"  
Now the Winter Soldier did not strut. He ran!  
Then he saw an Iron Man. Could that old thing be his mission? No, it could not.  
The Winter Soldier did not stop. He ran on and on.  
Now he looked way, way down.  
He saw a submarine. "There he is!" said the Winter Soldier.  
He called to the submarine, but the submarine did not stop.  
The submarine went on.  
He looked way, way up.  
He saw a quinjet.  
"Here I am, mission," he called out.  
But the quinjet did not stop. The quinjet went on.  
Just then, the Winter Soldier saw a big thing. This must be his mission!  
"There he is!" he said. "There is my mission!"  
He ran right up to it.  
"Mission, mission! Here I am, mission!" he said to the big thing.  
But the big thing just said, "Hulk smash!"  
"Oh, you are not my mission," said the Winter Soldier. "You are a Hulk. I have to get out of here!"  
But the Winter Soldier could not get away. The Hulk smashed.  
It smashed, and smashed, and smashed.  
And scared, scared, scared got the Winter Soldier.  
But now what was the Hulk doing?  
"Oh, oh, oh! What is this Hulk going to do to me? Get me out of here!"  
Just then, the Hulk came to a stop.  
"Where am I?" said the Winter Soldier. "I want to go home! I want my mission!"  
Then something happened. The Hulk put the WInter Soldier in the Avengers headquarters. The Winter Soldier was - home?  
Just then the Steve came back to HQ. "Do you know who I am?" he said to his Buck.  
"Yes, I know who you are!" said the Winter Soldier.  
"You are not a Shadowcat. You are not a Hawkeye. You are not a Wolverine. You are not a cow."  
"You are not a submarine, or a quinjet, or a Hulk!"  
"You are a Steve, and you are my mission."


End file.
